Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
