I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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