spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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