69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
