i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize