is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
