i don't like sucking hair
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
