I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
