i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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