I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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