im six kinds of drunk right now
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
