I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
