Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
too bad you live with your parents still
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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