Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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