How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
