I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
