it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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