i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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