Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
