She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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