Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize