Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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