He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
