I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
