You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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