We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
