careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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