high people should be assigned attendants
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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