Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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