I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
