honey bunches of taint.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
