Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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