well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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