my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
