yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
