Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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