I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
