the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The ass gains better be worth it
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