I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
