i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im holly from the hills drunk
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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