Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
