She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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