I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
