you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
