His hands were made for my vagina.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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