I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
