pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
NoShamevember. You game?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
