That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
