Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she peed on how many people?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize