GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
