please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
