chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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