Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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