If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
