Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
