quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize