are you still at the devil's house?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
