I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
