hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Bring me that man meat
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
