For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
