Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
