two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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