why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
