I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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