So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
