I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
