i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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