so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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